I get really upset when people do not understand my situation. As much as I would love to go out every weekend whenever I wanted and for however long I want. I do not have that advantage. My parents just aren’t those kinds of parents. 

They’re the kind that has been pushing me about SAT’s since I was a freshman. They’re the ones that would rather see me sit at home studying day in & day out, than go out with my friends. They didn’t raise me to respect those rules so when I do go out, you can ask the people I generally chill with. I always have to lie about what I’m doing or where I’m going. Do I enjoy that? Hell-fucking-no.

But when someone new comes into my life & I have to explain it all over again, it drives me insane. DNam accused me of not ever wanting to hang out with him, or smoking with him, or going to get lunch with him. Fuck no. I want to, but I can’t. That’s what no one understands.

Or I’ll tell people that I’m going to lunch/dinner with my family & they’ll say: “Again?” Yes, because my parents do not have the time to cook so in order to feed me, we go out. It’s not family time, because we ARE NOT tight-knit like everyone thinks we are because we “go out to dinner together” all the time.

Do NOT accuse me of shit when you don’t know my story. & If you don’t understand, be fucking patient with me. I’m NOT a flake. I’m trying to satisfy all these people at once, I’ve lost my own true happiness.